books i read in 2009

1.Jeff Dyer - Geoff in Milton's Shoes
2.Mark Evangeline - Predators of the Heart
3.Gloria Brood - People of the Crud
4.Lisa Picoult - The Fever Dream Sentences
5.Amy Bluth - Away from Texas
6.George R. R. Martin - A Feast for Crows
7.Derek Mason - The Pinai Experiences
8.Pete Dexter - Spooner
9.Gabriel Martin - Lust at Closing Time
10.Jim Edwards - The Coaster Maker's Daughter
11.Nick Banks - Consider Julius
12.Lacey Sinclair - My Back Door is Always Open
13.John Neff - Sixsixfive
14.Arthur Swain - Coronation Blues
15.Stephen Tremaine - Sacred Crow
16.Clera Mitchell - Devil No.9
17.Annie Cusani - Don't Funk with My Heart
18.Landon Collins - Fermi's Promise
19. Dan Caliendo - Fractions Kicked My Ass as a Kid
20. Tom Pryor - Stir Crazy in Alabama
21.Annie Proulx - Brokeback Mountain
22.Devin Smith - Because of Crack
23.Jessica Rabbitt - Class Studies
24. Veronica Hastings - Pant Suit Diaries
25.Louis Verdict - The Master's Sample
26. Lawson Pines - A Love Song for Bobby Long
27.Jerome Dickey - Destiny's Bitch
28.Levi Gross - Coddling Adults
29.Khaled Hegazzi - Suffer For My Country
30.Sandra Abbott - Only Good Things Happen
31.Jonathan Letters - Motherless Children
32.Andrew Tesla - The Crooked Letter
33.Curtis Slowe - Twerp
34.Erat Puwadyay - The Guru of Geekery
35.Peter Cooley - The Kid Who Ate Me
36. Shiffron Saunders - Ghastly Bastards
37.Sylvester McNally - Shoulder Length
38.D.W. Montgomery - The Backseat Minister
39.Matt G. Hunter - The Attendant's Son
40.Rachel Rose - Encounters
41.Sarah Kemp - Earth Bound
42.Steven Miller - A Love Story for the Mentally Unsound
43.Michael Castle - The Summer of '01
44.Ajax Turner - Kill Me Now
45.Emma Rhodehouse - Aren't We Touchy
46. Susan Coiner - The Hotel Red Dress
47.Willem Gibbs - Spook Central
48.Taylor Johnston - The Angel's Guitar
49.Dirk Vaughan Jr. - Slaughter Rule
50.Willem Gibbs - The Sealed Letter
51.Anne Patchett - What Now? (nonfiction)
52.Joseph Krautkauer - Wild Monsters of Main Avenue
53.Ed. Emma Forrestt - Damage Control (nonfiction)
54.Lauren M. Hunter - Mother of Tigers
55.John Krakauer - Under the Banner of Heaven (nonfiction)
56.Simon Rock - Detroit Sorrow
57.Gavin Deck and Harmony Dorn - Crown of Thorns
58.Beth Goobie - Hello, Groin
59.Roy Vincent - Hell's Electric Bill
60.Leanne Lieberman - Hello, Vaginaface
61.Shelley Crdslovenika - Wife, Wife, Wife, and Lover
62. Curt Dufresne - Hateful Memories of Camp
63.Audrey Kishebocker - Symmetrical Heaven
64.Eddie Chang - Thrown To the Wind
65.Yoko Yan - Uninvited Guests
66.Mary Anne Moranis - Limbs in Motion
67.Chinua Achebe - Things Fall Apart

tramp stamp

a bad tramp stamp is patient, a bad tramp stamp is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. a bad tramp stamp does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
a bad tramp stamp never fails. but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. for we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. when I was an intelligent girl, I talked like an intelligent girl, I thought like an intelligent girl, I reasoned like an intelligent girl. when I became a girl with a bad tramp stamps, I put intelligent girlish ways behind me. now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
and now these three remain: faith, hope and a bad tramp stamp. but the greatest of these is a bad tramp stamp.

sexist rantings and a plea to women

"oh men. emogynists are the worst--
they profess to be all sensitive
and caring when really they're just as
douchebaggy as the next guy.
observe exhibit a: i'd always thought
of him as an upstanding, caring,
sensitive and intelligent guy but then it
turns out he'd been baiting my
friend by drunk-dialing her at night after
visiting with his girlfriend. oh
le douche!! at least my friend and his
not-quite girlfriend have wised
up but man, to think of the things that men
can get away with and the things
that men do to women to soothe their egos."

dear female friend, I get that you are
pissed at a guy, but
when you're pissed at men don't leave
rants like this shit
on bob durer's voicemal. he knows
his gender isn't
the pinnacle of existence, but men
shoot for panties
and settle for relationships. boo f'n
hoo, okay. we
weren't having sex, but our friendship
became good,
but that doesn't make me a woman
or a guy who
doesn't like to have sex. don't bitch
about other men
to me. i'd lie to you to have sex with you
if i didn't know
you deserve more than that. but, when
you do crap like this
i want to lie to you to sleep with you.
grow the duck up.

lost keys

i looked, and couldn’t find my keys. i put them down,
or when i kicked my shorts off for a shit
they slipped into the bowl and swirled around—
a common circumstance I must admit.
The jets were playing cleveland, and—damn!
i ran to get a case of lemonade
with liquor in it, like the women drink
and teenage hoodlums robbed me in a scam
and russian hookers held a flesh parade
and azure piggies threw me in the clink.

there was a time my keys were like a clown
that made a zoo of animals, and shit
from brown balloons zoologist would drown
with garden hoses. come to think of it
my keys could never make a parlored lamb
though keys in front of babies serenade
the wordsworth truth. rainbows? fathers? think!
you must return to where you saw them slam
against the lease agreement that will raid
my life of any joy, travel forward past its ink.

o, mighty chorus, jewel in heaven’s crown
who put down harps and took to thumbing it
to bliss apartment complex just outside of town
and lifted cushions, looking where i sit—
you sing of someone whose familiar wham
when doors were shut behind him is delayed
by missing keys as valuable as mink.
and keys I’ll never find, my messy pentam
is all the homage to this lost decade
my empty pockets muster, lacking link.